Adventures in Laos (and a Tale of Two Sandwiches)

We arrived in Luang Prabang late in the evening and were promptly charmed by its little shopfronts and romantic night lights. We stayed in a little guesthouse jammed between the river and a reggae bar that boasted a pool table and an enormous dead beehive hanging over its front door. Since we had flown in from Siem Reap, about 1000 km south, the temperature dropped a few degrees so we started digging through our backpacks for some sleeves (after we remembered what those were). The following morning, we woke up to a typical San Francisco morning *SOUND OF RECORD GETTING SCRATCHED*  Wait – what??

Oh look: it's a mini-Golden Gate out of bamboo! Minus the gales :-)

Oh look: it’s a mini-Golden Gate out of bamboo! Minus the gales 🙂

Yes, weather in Laos’ second largest city was eerily similar to our own abode. Dense fog enveloped everything in the morning, so we went for breakfast on the Nam Kha river and watched the tendrils of mist unfold over the banks, slowly revealing them to be green and lush. A few coffees later, around noon, the fog burnt off completely and Luang Prabang offered itself for exploration.

Gorgeous view of the Nam Kha with Laos' mountainous landscape unfolding in the back. It all begged to be explored on foot...

Gorgeous view of the Nam Kha with Laos’ mountainous landscape unfolding in the back. It all begged to be explored on foot…

Here’s what we found out: The touristy part of Prabang is mapped along three main streets, one along the river Nam Kha, which is a tributary of the Mekong and meets it in the city’s Northeast – that’s where the expensive spas and boutique hotels are all lined up; one along the Mekong, rife with little restaurants and Khmu massage places; and a middle street where most of the city’s shops offer intricately woven silk scarfs, filigreed silver jewelry and countless artsy objects, everything from horsehair painting brushes to beautiful silk tapestries.

Gorgeous silver jewelry and handicrafts everywhere on display. The Hmong tribe in particular really have a way with metal.

Gorgeous silver jewelry and handicrafts everywhere on display. The Hmong tribe in particular really have a way with metal.

The mulberry tree is a big theme in Laotian art, with heart-shaped leaves twisting and turning in golden brushstrokes on paintings everywhere. The leaf of the mulberry of course is the preferred food of silkworms and its berries are delicious when ripe and stain like no other, which makes them perfect for natural dyes; in Laos, tea made from the bark is also widely consumed – talk about a multipurpose plant!

Prabang is a charming city and spent over five decades as a French “protectorate” (colonization-lite, if you will, sending tin, rubber and coffee to French factories and shops) and French influence certainly shows in its architecture.

Architecturally Luang Prabang is a little jewel of a town; it's literally how you would imagine the perfect vacation destination to look in Southeast Asia. But one cannot help but feel that behind this facade of adorable quaintness hides the local's hard struggle for a better life.

Architecturally Luang Prabang is a little jewel of a town; it’s literally how you would imagine the perfect vacation destination to look in Southeast Asia. But one cannot help but feel that behind this facade of adorable quaintness hides the local’s hard struggle for a better life.

Lovely villas housing restaurants and cafes line the banks of the two rivers, many of them in a sparkling state, and almost all charging exorbitant prices – by our Cambodia-spoiled purses. The tourist population also seemed to skew away from backpacking to flash-packing and even moderately luxurious travel. Fellow travelers we encountered in Prabang were somewhat older (with the exception of a pack of teen Californians with bike-rage) and well-off (aka – not displaying any visible signs of sticker shock).

The Khmu is one of Laos' largest minority ethnic groups. Many of the cheaper spas in Luang Prabang were sporting signs boasting Khmu massages. This is a pretty typical look for Prabang storefronts: lush and exotic, but also inviting.

The Khmu is one of Laos’ largest minority ethnic groups. Many of the cheaper spas in Luang Prabang were sporting signs boasting Khmu massages. This is a pretty typical look for Prabang storefronts: lush and exotic, but also inviting.

Laos PDR (People’s Democratic Republic or tongue-in-cheekishly, Laos Please Don’t Rush) is a nominally communist country ruled by a single party according to Marxist principles – you can see the red flag with a sickle and hammer everywhere – although according to local intel Laos is more of a “communitarian” society.

We visited several gorgeous buddhist temples and even found evidence of Buddha's passage through this realm!!

We visited several gorgeous buddhist temples and even found evidence of Buddha’s passage through this realm!!

Buddha's footprint. 'Nuff said!

Buddha’s footprint. ‘Nuff said!

Sadly a third of this landlocked country’s population lives below the poverty line and in Luang Prabang the income disparities are shocking. It’s easy to stick to the well-lit tourist streets, eat at the posh restaurants with fancy cocktail names and shop for souvenirs at the abundant craft night market; but as soon as you stray from that lovely perimeter, you become aware of how the locals live and it’s a sobering sight.

Preparing beautiful offerings out of marigolds and banana leaves for the local temples. Clueless as we are, we bought bananas to eat from these ladies; sorry bananas who were hoping to make it into Buddha's prodigious belly ...

Preparing beautiful offerings out of marigolds and banana leaves for the local temples. Clueless as we are, we bought bananas to eat from these ladies; sorry bananas who were hoping to make it into Buddha’s prodigious belly …

Living on less than US$1.25 per day means that a lot of the locals share a humble hut with extended family and have little, if any, access to healthcare. Even among expats and returning tourists, the fear of illness and lack of doctors and medical facilities is a recurring theme in conversation. As a grim note on a menu explained to patrons “You don’t see old people in Laos because here, when you get sick, you die.” Also, one Namkhong beer ( 22 oz; and approx. $1.50 ) is “roughly a day’s wages for a common laborer, so you’ll almost never see them drink it.” What they do drink is Lao-Lao, rice wine, of which we’ve had the pleasure to partake in the jungle – but more about that later… wink-wink

These bad boys are a sort of rice and coconut ebleskivers and they are TO DIE FOR!

These bad boys are a sort of rice and coconut ebleskivers and they are TO DIE FOR!

So, imagine my horror when, after an action-packed afternoon of mountain-biking and hiking to one of the local falls, I felt the first tell-tale signs of food poisoning. Ironically, that very morning, in preparation for the picnic, Ed and I chose two different sandwich stands: him, a local cart with sandwich ingredients we couldn’t even begin to guess; me, a fancy stand close to the market that slapped together a pretty-looking chicken-avocado sandwich. The difference between the two sandwiches: mine was four times the price and came with a free extra night of cold sweats and atrocious cramps. But, hey, every true traveler has to go through it at some point in time, and lesson learnt: go for the locals’ food stand!

‘Catfish and Mandala’: The Luscious Green Heart of Vietnam

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Our old governator is apparently still the universal symbol of brawn, even in Vietnam

After a short detour through Danang (a highly functional city where the local delicacy consisting of cold boiled bacon wrapped in aromatic herbs and lettuce left us both mystified and hungry) we arrived in Saigon/Ho Chi Minh in the early evening, and promptly got stuck in traffic.

In hindsight, after reading Andrew Pham’s Catfish and Mandala, any attempt to describe Ho Chi Minh’s traffic would be futile or artless, so here’s what he has to say about it:  “There are no lane markings, no shoulders, … just one big long river of asphalt boiling with Brownian motion. The engines roar, the animals bleat, the horns, the curses and the screams all boil into a fantastic cacophony.” Catfish and Mandala, by the way, is a phenomenal travel book that i would highly recommend it to anyone planning a trip to Southeast Asia or any sort of personal “roots” trip. As he’s a denizen of the Bay Area and the Golden Gate bridge was his launchpad, too, we related and really enjoyed his book. Which is not to say that it’s a light summer reading – this ain’t no “Shopaholic Meets Uncle Ho” novelette – read at your own peril!  We realized soon enough that we were not quite ready to join the Asphalt Jungle, which seemed even more hectic than Hanoi, with fevered Christmas preparations everywhere and hordes of locals decked in their wintery best, raindeer horns included, lining up for interminable, highly directed photo sessions with the Christmas ornaments in front of Barney’s – so we skipped town after three days, having accomplished the following:

  1.    Not!get!run!over!
  2.    Eat jackfruit for the very first time (that would be me, as Ed is well-versed in everything that smacks of exotic in the fruit isle)
  3.     Eat one extremely bad tiramisu
  4.     Get lost several times on the same street (…)
  5.     Visit the Reunification Palace
  6.     Eat vegetarian almost the entire time (again me, and with the caveat that something I took for very dark tofu with funky texture in my rice soup could have just as easily been a very large piece of near-raw liver)
  7.     And possibly the least expected adventure of all – discover a Harry Potter-esque Three Brooms Town, an institution that sprawled on three+ floors and boasted a bakery, a theater, a performance stage, a pirate bar and several workshops where, by appointment, you could learn how to sew little pillows and make autumnal-looking decorations that would be at home on Halloween on any street in Connecticut.

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    A Harry Potter-land where they serve alcoholic potions at their local Leaky Skull pirate tavern? SIGN ME UP!!

We made the above list and checked it twice (by this time Christmas songs have fully permeated our bubble of season denial) and then we were off to the Mekong Delta. As an aside, let it be said that after – weeks AFTER – we completed our tour, the New York Times came out with the 52 Top Places to visit in 2014 and the Mekong Delta ranked 35th. Since words don’t really do it justice, here are some pics. Enjoy!

It all started with a ride up and down the inner canals of the Delta, a sampling of the locals' daily commute

It all started with a ride up and down the inner canals of the Delta, a sampling of the locals’ daily commute

Our captain, like on most of the other boats, was a middle-aged lady who rammed with the strength of a small bull and the agility of an eel along the narrow canal and busy two-way boat traffic

Our captain, like on most of the other boats, was a middle-aged lady who rammed with the strength of a small bull and the agility of an eel along the narrow canal and busy two-way boat traffic

Next stop: Candyland. Coconut candy flavored with everything under the sun, from banana leaf, which tasted exceedingly fresh, to snake.

Next stop: Candyland. Coconut candy flavored with everything under the sun, from banana leaf, which tasted exceedingly fresh, to snake.

OK, maybe I was joking about the snake flavored candy, but not about the liquor. Ed actually made me drink this and it tasted faintly of formaldehyde.  Apparently the snakes go in the alcohol jar while still alive, so they die a happy death...

OK, maybe I was joking about the snake flavored candy, but not about the liquor. Ed actually made me drink this and it tasted faintly of formaldehyde. Apparently the snakes go in the alcohol jar while still alive, so they die a happy death…

Stop two: rice noodle factory. This here is a display of rice noodle-making prowess: the man is a natural

Stop two: rice noodle factory. This here is a display of rice noodle-making prowess: the man is a natural

Subtly color-coordinated (that's how we roll) we walk the fine bamboo line that is a bridge at the crocodile farm. But don't get excited, there are no crocs below

Subtly color-coordinated (that’s how we roll) we walk the fine bamboo line that is a bridge at the crocodile farm. But don’t get excited, there are no crocs below

Local cuisine in a nutshell (from right to left):  chicken,  rats, snake (the sausage-like thing), frog. Out of sight: bog snails fried in butter. Bon Appetit!

Local cuisine in a nutshell (from right to left): chicken, rats, snake (the sausage-like thing), frog. Out of sight: bog snails fried in butter. Bon Appetit!

A typically sized jackfruit in the fruit orchard we visited. I must confess that I was sitting directly underneath another gigantic one and was very much fearing for my life.

A typically sized jackfruit in the fruit orchard we visited. I must confess that I was sitting directly underneath another gigantic one and was very much fearing for my life.

We spent a few 'recovery' days in Can Tho, one of the larger towns in the Delta, sampling the local cuisine and hanging out.

We spent a few ‘recovery’ days in Can Tho, one of the larger towns in the Delta, sampling the local cuisine and hanging out. This was a pretty typical food stall at the local market that we frequented a few times per day.

We spent our last night in Vietnam in Chau Doc, a border town with much to offer, including hikes in the nearby mountains and some cool temples. We only had enough time to dine on the restaurant boat that floated on the Mekong.

We spent our last night in Vietnam in Chau Doc, a border town with much to offer, including hikes in the nearby mountains and some cool temples. We only had enough time to dine on the restaurant boat that floated on the Mekong.

Au revoir Vietnam! It's been lovely and we will miss you...

Au revoir Vietnam! It’s been lovely and we will miss you…

After three weeks in Vietnam, we crossed the border into Cambodia on a speedboat. We were excited to move on to our next destination, but also nostalgic at the same time. Vietnam was a ride and a half and a baptism by fire for us South East Asia first-timers. Tam Biet! A la prochaine!